If my mom were still here on earth she'd be celebrating her birthday today. She passed away on September 19, 2001, a week after September 11. She had leukemia. I told her she was leaving at a good time because our world was cold and crazy. Knowing when I said those words I was trying to comfort her and ease the transition from earth to heaven.
Kind of ironic too... The kind of leukemia mom had could have been treated today and she would still be alive. I don't dwell on such things rather I cherish the precious moments and time I had with my best friend and mom.
A little part of you disappears when you lose a parent. I'm not sure where it goes, but nevertheless you never feel the same as you did when they were with you.
I guess when you love someone so very much you simply miss them being around. Selfish reasons, but human ones.
The other day when I moved my moms old library table into the living room I also pulled a hand-painted rock that my she had painted. I felt the soulful piece of art would make me happy sitting in the new space as I sketched designs.
My mom hosted many talents. More than I can even tell you about in a short post. I practice those values and idees in my daily life. Some of the highlights... You should respect and treat others in the same way you wish to be treated. Easy to say, but not always easily done! That thought passes by me each and every day as I remind myself of my moms teachings!
A little story....
About a year had gone by after mom passed. Patrick and I were not feeling good and had some kind of virus. He was 8 at the time. He asked me if I would sit with him upstairs why he took a warm bath.
Since I had the same stuff my body felt wore down and sickly too. Since I was feeling so yucky rather than lay in bed I lay in the hallway right outside the bathroom door. The door was open just a few inches. I gazed into the small open crack into the bathroom. I could see the hand-painted rock my mother had painted when she was alive but this time I'm noticing the rock looks different. Something was on the bottom!
I can't tell you how many times I had picked up that rock as I cleaned the bathroom floor and never had I noticed something on the bottom!
A year after mom passed and having had the rock sitting in our bathroom at that particular angle that I was laying on the hallway floor, which by the way, have lived here for 25 years and that's the only time I recall ever laying in our upstairs hallway!
As I jump up and pick up the rock to look at the bottom this is what I saw...
Needless to say, I was in awe. I opened the bathroom door and explained to Patrick what had just happened. We were both in awe!
I felt an extraordinary awe.
One that left me with warm feelings but sad too.
Then I felt happy!
My sweet mom... She didn't want me to forget her.
How could I ever forget you mom? I often reassured her of that when she was alive. She was attempting to make sure I did not.
A dying person indures numerous overwhelming feelings. None of which I can bear witness too. For I have not felt them.
Today I'm reminded of my sweet soft spoken mom that I loved with all my heart.
Tomorrow I will be reminded of another person that is close to my heart, Jesus.
Enjoy a peaceful, loving, caring and sharing Easter Sunday.
Love,
Jill 00
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